The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Text me some of your sweat
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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