talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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