how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
