i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
