u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
