the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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