Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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