I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
