he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
