She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
