I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
