shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
