i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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