Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
