good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
