Don't you send me to vm
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
