Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
