My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
