I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize