Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
