yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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