he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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