you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
