accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
