I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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