New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
