don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
