then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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