is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
