i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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