I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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