yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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