the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
that is very illegal...i love you.
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