Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
