They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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