happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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