I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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