Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
not ubering you a puppy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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