She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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