why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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