never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
