dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
