i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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