do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
