He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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