Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
