i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
