NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
