his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
