I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
