she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
