He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
